Close to Home
by Danielle18
Summary: COMPLETE': A young couple make Izzie's transition back into the hospital a little harder as their situation hit's close to home and painfully reminds her of Denny.
1. Chapter 1

* * *

_**Close to Home **_

* * *

_Author's Note: Set in season 3 shortly after Izzie has returned to work at the hospital._

* * *

"Okay, what seems to be the problem?" Isabel asked, eyeing the somewhat sparse chart. She hated walk-in's, and more than that she hated working the pit.

She looked up, into the face of the young man before her as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"It's my stomach" he answered.

"Pain?"

The boy let out a small, ironic laugh under his breath "Yeah".

"Lot's of pain"

Izzie looked up to see a young girl had come to stand bed-side; she looked to be about 17, the same age as the boy.

"Lot's of pain?" Izzie repeated the girls words, eyeing her carefully.

Looking at both of them now, she saw that they were a very handsome couple. The girl had black ringlets, pale skin and deep blue eyes, coupled with her sweet red doll lips she looked better suited to a different era than the one she was currently in. Maybe one with corsets and hoop-skirts, Izzie eyed her faded denim jeans and Rolling Stones t-shirt as she glanced down at the boy's chart again. The boy also had pale skin, but that was probably to do with the abdominal pain. He had curly blonde hair and brown eyes, an odd but flattering combination.

"For about two weeks now" the girl chimed in.

Izzie looked up and watched as her hand began to gently stroke the boy's hair, while her eyes remained on Izzie.

"Errr, and what sort of pain…." Izzie scanned the chart for a name, but the boy quickly piped up "Ayden" he supplied, adding "…it's a stabbing pain"

"Stabbing pain" Izzie murmured. "Do you play any sport or….?"

"It's cancer" the girl said, matter-of-factly.

Izzie looked up, "excuse me?".

"He has pancreatic cancer" she answered, without blinking.

Without saying a word the boy leant down and pulled out a faded blue back-pack from underneath the hospital bed. Unzipping it, he pulled out a manila folder full of paper and handed it to Izzie.

She eyed them both suspiciously again and opened the folder, her eyes reading test results, x-rays, labs and doctor's notes that did indeed say that Ayden Hames, 18 years old had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two years ago.

Izzie looked up at both Ayden and the girl, her jaw agape, and then back down at the papers. On one long doctor's report she noticed the header at the top of the page 'Anchor Hospital: Atlanta, Georgia'. These weren't the sort of files patients were just given to take home and keep. These were official files.

"Where did you get…?" Izzie began.

"We stole them" Ayden answered dryly.

"You, what?" Izzie stammered.

Ayden let out a heavy sigh and reached for the girl's hand, holding it in his lap he looked Izzie in the eye, "Caitlin and I ran away one year ago when I decided to stop my treatment… we've been bumming around the country for one year and now we both guess that I have to come in and face the music"

"Face the music?" Izzie repeated.

"I'm dying" Ayden said simply.

Yep, Izzie hated working the pit, and she hated walk-in's….


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright, thank-you Doctor Tennant"

Chief Webber hung up the phone on his desk and looked at Izzie standing before him.

"They ran away from home last December" he said, with a sigh, leaning back into his chair.

"Ayden had gemcitabine-based chemotherapy for three out of six weeks when he up and left" Webber added, running a hand down his face.

"Diabetes?" Izzie asked. The predispositions for pancreatic cancer included smoking, obesity, high-meat diets, occupational hazards that included working around dyes and pesticides, age and a slim chance of family history.

Chief Webber nodded and confirmed Izzie's hunch. "Diagnosed with diabetes at age 6" Webber added, standing.

"What do they want us to do?" Izzie asked, watching as the Chief shrugged on his white coat.

"Doctor Tennant said they had opted for chemotherapy instead of surgery because they suspected that the cancer would move to his liver….".

"He was in Metastatic stage?" Izzie asked, not quite believing that the boy she had just been talking to was in the worst stage of pancreatic cancer.

"He hasn't had any sort of treatment for an entire year…" Webber stopped, his hand resting on the door-handle, and looked into Izzie's face, "….yes, I would say he's got the worst of it now". Opening the door Izzie followed him into the corridor, "But to be sure we should get some x-rays".

"Anything else?" Izzie asked, walking beside the chief.

Webber stopped walking and looked around for a moment before looking directly into Izzie's eyes again, "are you sure you can handle this case?"

Izzie shifted her weight uncomfortably, "yes".

Webber nodded, "well then, Doctor Tennant said it might be a good idea for us to persuade them to call their parents…"


	3. Chapter 3

"They're what?"

"Married"

"How old…"

"Eighteen" Izzie supplied, bringing a forkful of salad to her mouth.

"Has it spread?" Meredith asked, sipping her coke.

"Don't know, x-rays are taking a while but I'd say there's a good chance"

"How sad" George chimed in, looking down at his potato chips.

"How stupid!" Cristina retorted.

All eyes fell on her as she scrunched up a napkin and threw it across the table. "He ran out on chemo so what does he expect?"

"Who know's?…" Alex began, putting his fork down.

"He must be in terrible shape" Cristina added.

"He's not though" Izzie replied, and all eyes turned to her. "No jaundice, he can walk just fine and apart from this two-week old abdominal pain you wouldn't know anything was wrong…. _I_ sure didn't"

"But still" Cristina began, "If he'd stayed in Alabama…"

"Georgia" Izzie corrected.

"Whatever. If he'd stayed then he would be in remission right now and this little 'Dawson's Pond' relationship would have dried up a year ago…"

"Dawson's Creek" George corrected.

"Whatever" Cristina spat, "he's stupid. Young and stupid" Cristina reclined in her chair, "Young, stupid and male….which explains the stupid".

"I don't know" Izzie began, "Maybe love has kept him well"

"Until now" Alex added.

"Um, Iz… do you think you could put a good word in for me with this case?" Cristina timidly broached.

"Back off Yang!" Alex interrupted, "I already checked the board, saw there was a Whipple and asked Bailey"

"Dammit! Alex!" Cristina grumbled.

"You're scrubbing in?" Izzie asked, packing away her salad.

Alex nodded, "that okay with you?"

Izzie nodded and stood up, "yeah, see you in the O.R" she said, and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

Ayden gently twirled one of Caitlin's black ringlets around his finger.

"It's been a hell of a year, Cait" he whispered.

She ignored the delicacy of that assertion which sounded more like a good-bye than a general statement.

"What was your favorite part?" she asked.

Lying together in Ayden's narrow hospital bed, his arm around her shoulders, her head against his chest, she tried to breathe in his scent to keep with her, but his smell of vanilla and deodorant had mixed and disappeared with the sterile smell of the hospital.

"The Grand Canyon" he breathed, closing his eyes and admiring the red rock and an image of Caitlin in shorts and a green tank-top, her hair flying in the wind.

"What about you?" he asked.

Caitlin took her time before answering "The world biggest ball of twine in Minnesota" she answered, and Ayden's chest rose and fell with laughter.

"You lie" Ayden said finally.

"So do you" Caitlin giggled, "you complained that there were too many tourists and that the helicopter rides were too expensive"

"You _know_ what my favorite part was" Ayden whispered.

"I know" Caitlin replied, just as softly, "it was my favorite too".

Neither had to say the words, but they were both transported back to Alabama on January 15th, the day they were married in a small-town council building.

"Hey" Caitlin said, breaking the silence.

"Hey" Ayden replied.

"Don't do anything stupid tomorrow, okay?"

"Like…?" Ayden prompted.

"You know… don't die or anything"

"Okay" Ayden replied simply, "funnily enough 'not dying' was on my to-do-list for tomorrow…"

Ayden allowed for a minute of silence, choosing his words carefully. "We talked about this Caitlin…" he gave a small sigh, "it's _all_ we talked about…."

"I know" Caitlin struggled and propped herself up on one elbow, looking into Ayden's face. "But, can we just pretend like you have a say in what happens tomorrow, and have you promise me that everything will be okay?"

Ayden gently shook his head, "I won't make a promise I can't keep"

As much as she loved them most times, right now she wished Ayden didn't have such stead-fast morals.

"So what _can_ you promise me?" she asked.

Ayden reached out, brushing away a stray strand of hair from her face. "I can promise you have I haven't regretted a single thing this entire year…." He smiled and she struggled to smile back, "I can promise you that I love you…"

"That's not good enough…"

"It's all I got" Ayden said, with a small smile.

Caitlin scrambled to get off the bed, and stood staring at Ayden, "take this seriously!" she ordered.

"I am" came his stern reply.

Tears began to fall down her cheeks, "then get angry!" she yelled.

"I am" was his simple reply.

"No your not! Your just lying there and accepting your fate!"

"I am not, Caitlin…"

"Do you even care? Do you even care that I could…." She couldn't finish before the tears engulfed her and she had to flee the room, with Ayden calling after her.


	5. Chapter 5

Izzie sat outside Denny's old room, which was now occupied by a lung-cancer patient. Sitting in the row of plastic chairs that lined the wall of Denny's old room, Izzie was surprised when she looked up and saw Caitlin standing before a drinks machine. Izzie continued to stare, and after five minutes stood up and walked toward her.

"Caitlin?"

She blinked and turned to Izzie.

"Dr Stevens" she mumbled.

Caitlin's eyes were stinging and her hands trembling, "do you want to come and sit down with me…?" Izzie asked.

Without saying a word Caitlin slowly followed Izzie toward the row of visitor's chairs and took a seat beside her.

"Getting scared?" Izzie asked, and Caitlin nodded.

"Ayden is young and strong, he has a good chance of…" Izzie began, but Caitlin quietly stopped her.

"He thinks he's going to die" she said simply.

"Well that's just…" Izzie started.

"All year he's been building me up for it, telling me all these things…" she trailed off, and Izzie couldn't understand what she was saying.

Finally Caitlin stopped mumbling and looked around her, "why were you sitting _here_?" she asked.

"I didn't think you had noticed me" Izzie replied.

"I did… so, why _here_?"

"I knew someone who used to…" Izzie motioned behind her, "… he was a patient in that room"

"Did he die?"

"He did"

"Sorry"

"It's ok"

"Do you mean that?" Caitlin asked, without missing a beat.

Izzie stared into her blue eyes for only a moment before giving a small shake of her head, "nope".

"Have you ever seen that movie 'when Harry met Sally'?" Caitlin asked.

Izzie forced a small smile, "I'll have what _she's_ having…"

Caitlin nodded and continued, "there's this one really cheesy line that Billy Crystal says to Meg Ryan, something about when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…" Caitlin sighed and looked down at her hands, "that's how I thought about Ayden and me...except he thought the rest of his life was one year"

"Is that why you two ran away?" Izzie prodded.

Caitlin nodded. "Well, that was Ayden. He didn't want to stay and get worse and worse, have to depend on everyone and finally just waste away…"

"That's understandable"

"I shouldn't have given him that Jack Kerouac book last Christmas…but he was hell-bent on an American road trip"

Izzie gave a little laugh, and was quiet for a moment before asking: "how did he convince you to go with him?"

She looked up, "it was Ayden" she said simply, "I don't know how to say no to him…I never have, not since we were kids growing up across the street from each other… I can't say no to him, especially when he's telling me that he's going to die and wants to spend the last year of his life with _me_"

Izzie gave a small smile, "that would be a hard offer to pass up"

"As romantic as that offer was… I'm mad at him for leaving, for not staying and _trying_ to get better…"

Izzie let out a sigh and looked up and down the hospital corridor before continuing, "I should probably be on the side of science for this one, but I don't think Ayden would be in as good condition as he is right now if it weren't for you…" she sighed and continued, "maybe he was right. Maybe chemo would have only made him weak and he would have died in less than a year. Maybe not. But regardless, he wanted to be with only one person this year… that's pretty amazing" Izzie looked down at her hands, feeling Caitlin's eyes on her now, "and take it from someone who knows; at least you had him all to yourself for a little while… that's better than nothing".

"Maybe" Caitlin nodded, "but trying _then_ would have been better than dying _now_"

Izzie let out a sigh, unsure of how to go on talking about things that were too close to her own heart. "However angry you are at Ayden for his choices, I think you should be with him now…"

"Incase everything he's been saying this past year turns out to be right?"

Izzie nodded, "just be with him, that seems to be all he's ever wanted from you…"

Caitlin slowly rose to her feet, and looked down at Izzie. "Ayden can't promise me anything tomorrow, but _you_ can" she said carefully, "can you promise me he'll be okay tomorrow?"

"I really can't"


	6. Chapter 6

"Have our folks arrived yet?" Ayden asked Caitlin in the elevator.

"No" she replied, squeezing his hand.

"You know what to tell them" he said assuredly.

Alex and Izzie both looked over at Caitlin and Ayden, grasping each other's hands.

"Cait?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking down, gently stroking his hair.

"I'm getting scared" Ayden replied in a small voice.

Izzie looked away, but Alex continued to stare at Izzie, noticing the smallest of changes in her face.

"March in California, September in Idaho, June in Nebraska…" Caitlin whispered, "And January in Alabama", she leant down and kissed his forehead, "just think about this year" she whispered.

"Here we go" Alex announced, "Caitlin, you can't come past this point"

Ayden's grip tightened and Caitlin lowered herself down to listen to Ayden whisper something in her ear that neither Alex nor Izzie wanted to hear, and then they wheeled him away, with Caitlin watching behind them.

* * *

"Izzie!" Alex called out, but she had already bolted down the corridor, still wearing her blood soaked scrubs.

"Do you want to go and tell the wife, or will I?" Bailey asked, coming out of the operating theatre.

"What about Izzie...?" Alex began.

"This is just something she has to learn to deal with all over again" Bailey replied, nonchalantly.

_**When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse **_

_**and the tears come streaming down your face  
when you lose something you can't replace  
when you love some one but it goes to waste  
could it be worse?  
**_

"Hey"

Izzie looked up. "Hey"

"What happened to…?"

"He went home last night, in remission"

Alex nodded and sat at the foot of Denny's old hospital bed.

"Ayden's chances weren't good, Iz…"

"I know"

"You can't do this every time a patient…"

"I know!"

Alex remained silent for a moment.

"As jealous as I was of them, I would never have wished this upon Caitlin" Izzie whispered.

"Well, of course not"

"I know what it feels like, and I wouldn't"

"Iz -" that was all Alex had to say and she crawled into his arms. No tears came; only the same gnawing pain she had become accustomed to when she thought of Denny, which was often. It seemed as though her tears had dried up, but that painful regret at the pit of her stomach, Izzie knew that was there to stay.

"I wouldn't wish this on anybody" she repeated.

_**  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

_**High up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth  
**_

Izzie headed towards Ayden's room, fully prepared to take Caitlin into her arms and lie, telling her it would all be okay. But when she got there, she saw both Caitlin's and Ayden's parents had arrived, and were all listening to Bailey delivering the bad news.

"I'm sorry" Miranda ended, and headed out the door.

She stood beside Izzie and both watched as Caitlin collapsed into her mother's arms, her father stroking her hair, while Ayden's parents held each other.

"She's lucky" Izzie whispered, "having that support now"

Bailey nodded, "so were you" she replied, and walked away.

_**  
Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

_**Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
**_

Izzie pulled the brown sweater over her head and did up the fly on her jeans, shrugging her tote bag over her shoulder.

"Izzie?"

She turned around to find George standing before her.

"Hey" she said, closing her locker door.

"Sorry about your patient" he murmured.

"Yeah, me too"

"Do you feel like drinking?"

Izzie gave a small shake of her head, "nah"

"Oh, okay" George said, heading toward his locker.

"But I do feel like food… do you feel like food?"

George looked up, "just let me get changed and we'll go out"

"I'll go find Alex and Meredith; they get off about now too"

_**Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I  
**_

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you.**_

* * *

**LYRICS**: _Coldplay's "fix you"_


End file.
